L's Road Trip
by Jackal Scribe
Summary: L wants to see the American open road, and drags Light and Misa along for a very strange ride. Wackiness ensues up and down the highways. Please R&R.
1. L's Road Trip Chapter 01

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story.

L's Road Trip: Chapter 1

Timing: This story is only nominally tied to the Death Note story. It takes place in the two month stretch where nothing apparently happens, shown in episode 18.

It was around midnight, on a dark but clear night, in the bowels of the Kira investigation's headquarters, and strange things were afoot. As always, Light had fallen asleep handcuffed to L while L punched away on the keys of his laptop. For days and nights now, L had struggled to come up with some lead in the Kira case, but every day and every night proved to be another disappointment. Light tried to lend his assistance, but it was difficult while L continued to remain bitter that Light had been proven not to be Kira. The investigation had hit a stand still, and everyone, even Matsuda, could tell as much. L had been more than a little depressed, his obsessive behavior ebbing and flowing into a state of apathy.

At 12:37 at night, the phone in Misa Amane's living space went off, chiming to life in the dead of night. The girl staggered out of her bed, pink nightgown and all, and towards her phone, picking it up.

"H-hello?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"Misa, pack a bag for a short trip, get your passport and meet me and Light at the ground floor." It was L, not making a request but clearly giving an order.

"Ryuzaki?" Misa asked, still groggy.

"I said pack a bag for a short trip, get your passport and meet me and Light at the ground floor," L continued, as if Misa had said nothing at all.

"Ryuzaki, what's going on?"

"Misa, this is very important. Light will be with me. Now pack a bag for a short trip, get your passport and hurry down to the ground floor," L said before hanging up the phone.

Once he hung up the phone, L turned to the sleeping Light, turning off his laptop as he shifted his attention towards Light. Light was sleeping peacefully despite the shackle on his hand. L momentarily considered letting Light sleep, but by the time he decided that perhaps he should leave Light alone, L had already started dragging Light out of his bed, letting Light drop to the floor with a loud thump.

"What the hell?!" Light said, sounding more than a little spooked as he woke up to the sight of L's face, "Ryuzaki, what the hell is going on?"

"Pack a bag for a short trip and find your passport, quickly," L said as he hastily reached for a large gym bag and started wrapping his laptop in a spare set of clothes, L's standard baggy white shirt and blue pants.

"Ryuzaki, what are you talking about?" Light said, quickly recovering from his initial shock.

"I said pack a bag for a short trip and find your passport. This is of the utmost importance," L said without skipping a beat.

"Damn it Ryuzaki," Light said as he started packing.

About a half hour later, L, his gym bag, Light and a small suitcase were gathered at the ground floor of the Kira investigation's tower headquarters, waiting for Misa to come through the elevator. L was on the phone with Watari, who was likewise surprised by L's sudden request when the elevator chimed open and revealed a still sleepy but dressed Misa dragging two large suitcases on wheels with her.

"Ryuzaki," she whined, "Why did you get me out of bed? What does this have to do with me?"

"Yeah, Ryuzaki," Light said, rubbing his eyes, "What's going on?"

Their only response was L staring at them for a minute with his dark ringed eyes.

"C'mon, Ryuzaki!" Misa whined again, "Why'd you drag me out of bed? Have you caught Kira yet?"

"Ryuzaki, what does this have to do with the Kira investigation?" Light added.

"Nothing," L said flatly.

"What?!" Misa wailed, "Then why did you get me out of bed at one in the morning?!"

"Ryuzaki, this isn't funny. What's going on?" Light asked.

"We're going on a road trip," L said simply, much to the disbelief of Light and Misa, "Perhaps I've seen too many movies, but it seems like a fun thing to do. And given how the Kira case may very well get me killed, I decided to fly to Los Angeles and go on a trip across America, while I've still got the chance. So I booked the three of us on a flight that takes off in a few hours. Light is coming along for rather obvious reasons," L continued, raising his handcuffs, "And I thought Misa would appreciate the chance to come along with Light, to say nothing of the trouble she might cause if she was left behind."

"Well if Light's going of course I'll go!" Misa squealed cheerfully, as if the fact that it was one in the morning was suddenly lost on her.

"Ryuzaki," Light said warily, "Shouldn't we be working on the Kira case?"

"Yes, we should," L said plainly, "Now get ready. Watari's bringing the car around to take us to the airport."

"If we're not investigating Kira," Light went on, sounding slightly outraged, "Then why are going across the planet to do something completely unrelated?"

"Because we have no leads," L said as he hoisted his gym bag, "And just hanging around here doing nothing isn't helping the investigation."

"Ryuzaki," Light said, exasperated, trailing off while L made his way to the exit. L gave the handcuffs a quick tug and forced Light to come staggering after the detective. Misa followed soon after that, dragging her suitcases behind her with great difficulty.


	2. L's Road Trip Chapter 02

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story.

L's Road Trip: Chapter 2

At one thirty in the morning, even downtown Tokyo traffic is light, and the black car containing L, Light and Misa made great time down the streets with Watari at the wheel. Light spent the entire trip questioning L's decision to go to America, asking why they were doing it. L stuck to his explanation, which was basically no explanation at all, save to say that he had always wanted to travel across America. About half way to the airport, Light finally gave up trying to press the detective into turning the car around and going back to headquarters to continue the Kira case. After he gave up, he found that Misa had begun to try cheering him up by telling him how much fun they would have in America while L watched the road fly by passively. Once they reached Narita International Airport, they took their bags out of the car. Light got roped into dragging one of Misa's suitcases in addition to his own, while L shouldered his gym bag and sent Watari back to investigation headquarters. Checking in was a simple matter, and soon the suitcases were checked in and L started dragging Light towards the terminal with Misa in pursuit.

The three came across a security check point shortly thereafter. The security guard gave them a strange glance, wondering why two men were handcuffed to each other with a blonde girl bouncing in their wake. He hoped that they wouldn't come to his check point, but after waiting in line for twenty minutes, L, Light and Misa came right up to the worried guard's post. He raised his brow at them while L started removing the handcuffs from himself and Light.

"This is only temporary, Light," L said simply as he placed the handcuffs in the tray and placed his bag and old tennis shoes in the x-ray machine's conveyer belt, going through the metal detector once that was done.

Light placed his keys in the tray and went through the metal detector. The machine shrieked when he did so.

"It must be my belt buckle," Light said as he began removing his belt without being asked as Misa looked on, seeming a bit hungry as Light took off his belt.

The machine shrieked again and the guard turned to light.

"Hold your arms out please, I have to pat you down," the guard said, sounding somewhat bored with the whole process.

"Sure," Light said, nice as can be, as the security guard began patting him down, looking for who knows what on his person. Misa on the other hand was much less agreeable than Light.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Misa wailed at the guard, stepping through the metal detector without permission.

"My job. Now please, step back behind the line," the guard replied.

"No way! Not when you're groping my Light!" Misa continued wailing.

"Misa, please," Light said nervously, already seeing that Misa was causing a scene as L looked on in that wide eyed way of his, seeming almost amused by Light's predicament.

"Miss, I'm only doing my job, now step back behind the line," the guard continued.

"Stop feeling up my boyfriend!" Misa shrieked as the guard reached for his walkie talkie.

"Jiro, we've got a situation. Someone doesn't wanna be pat down," the guard said into his radio.

"What?" Light yelped, "No officer, this is a misunderstanding! Pat me down, please."

"Pervert!" Misa shrieked accusingly at the guard.

"Misa, please calm down, this man is just doing his job and it's a job that has to be done," Light said diplomatically as three more guards made their way over to the security check point.

"Sir, you'll have to come with us," one of the guards said to Light once they arrived.

"Certainly," Light said patiently as the guards grabbed him and started pushing him down the airport hallways, past security and into a windowless office, leaving Misa and L behind.

"Ryuzaki!" Misa said, "Do something!"

"Go through the metal detector. We'll catch up with Light when he's done," L said to Misa, getting his gym bag back, but not putting his shoes back on.

"Oh," Misa said, slowly realizing that she was without options, "Okay.

After that, Misa went through security without any problems. Light on the other hand was not so fortunate.

"Strip," one of the guards told him quickly.

"Oh, of course," Light said as he hastily started removing his clothing. It took him a few minutes to remove his pants, shirt and shoes, but soon he was standing in nothing but his underwear and socks, and looking terrified.

"All of it," another guard said harshly as the others searched Light's clothing for weapons and contraband.

"Oh. A-all right," Light said nervously as he removed his socks and then finally his underwear, which the guards promptly searched as well.

"Hmm, nothing in his clothes," one guard said to the others.

"Are you done? I'd like my clothes back, please," Light said, sounding embarrassed by the whole process.

"Well something suspicious is going on," another guard said, completely ignoring Light and his question.

"I think we're gonna have to do a full cavity search," a third guard said.

Light heard the snapping of a rubber glove over a guard's hand, and saw where the hand was reaching. Light gulped nervously. This was gonna hurt.

And it did hurt. Light walked out of the windowless office in disheveled clothes, with an unusual stride to mark his strange encounter. Once he was out, he briefly considered fleeing the airport and L's handcuffs, but by the time the thought registered in his head, L's hand shot out and lashed Light's end of the handcuffs on to Light's wrist. Light jumped a little at the suddenness of L's ambush, but once he recovered he turned to face L.

"Ryuzaki," Light said glumly, "I see you made sure not to lose me."

"Come on Light," L said bluntly, "We have a plane to catch. Luckily I expected Misa to cause some sort of incident and scheduled our flight to account for the subsequent delay."

"Hey!" Misa retorted, "What do you mean cause some sort of incident? All I wanted to do was stop that man from groping Light! I'm his girlfriend, not him!"

"Misa, he wasn't groping me," Light said, sounding a bit exasperated, "He was just patting me down to make sure I wasn't trying to smuggle a weapon or drugs on to the plane."

"Oh," Misa said, eyes widening as she started realizing what she had just done wrong, "My mistake."

Light just sighed in frustration. Then L started back down the airport hallway, giving the handcuffs a quick tug to bring Light behind him, with Misa bringing up the rear, attaching herself to Light's arm protectively. They passed by small newsstands and fast food places that consisted entirely of a counter and kitchen and nothing else. L lingered around the fast food counters where sweets were being produced, but a quick, annoyed tug on the handcuffs from Light got the detective moving again. After a six minute walk, L stopped at a gate surrounded by seats for people waiting for their flights, still packed even at that horrible hour of the night.

"This is our gate," he said as he crouched down in a seat near the gate, "Sit down. We still have about an hour before our flight takes off."

"Ryuzaki, why'd you book us on the red eye flight?" Light asked as he took a seat next to L.

"I was in a hurry," L said simply as he pulled out his laptop, propping it up on the seat's left armrest.

"You mean you didn't plan this out?" Misa asked, sounding a little surprised, "I thought you planned out everything!"

"I admit, it was a spur of the moment decision," L said as he began punching keys on his laptop, "But I've wanted to do this for quite some time."

"Damn it Ryuzaki," Light said, finally accepting defeat.

Misa took a seat next to Light and started leaning on him with a contented expression in her eyes. Light just leaned back and sighed heavily. This was going to be a very long journey. And L, L just worked on his laptop for a minute until he finally ease up in his seat and watched the screen. Neither Light or Misa immediately saw what he was doing, but when they heard the pleasured moan of a woman coming out of the laptop's speakers, they realized something was amiss. They both quickly sat up to see a dirty movie playing on L's laptop, with L watching it without even the slightest sign of arousal.

"Ew! Pervert!" Misa shrieked before Light could open his mouth.

"Ryuzaki, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Light asked hastily.

"I'm on vacation. It's time to relax. Watching a movie is relaxing. Hence, I'm watching a movie," L said.

"Hmmph, this must be because you have no girlfriend," Misa said, still sounding outraged.

"Ryuzaki, please shut it down," Light said as people began to stare at the strange young man watching his computer and his companions.

"I told you, I'm on vacation," Light said as the woman on the screen moaned even louder, and L turned up the volume a bit.

"Light, make him stop, I don't like the way people are looking at me!" Misa said, sounding a touch nervous.

"Ryuzaki," Light said with the slightest growl in his tone, "Please turn off that movie because we get thrown out for public obscenity. And after what security just did to me, I want to avoid that at all costs."

"I'm not telling you how to relax, please extend me the same courtesy," L said without looking up from the screen.

Misa reacted quickly once Light began to show signs of irritation, hopping up from her seat and forcibly closing L's laptop. Then she quickly sat back down, leaning against Light again.

"There," Misa said simply once L's laptop was closed.

"Why'd you do that, Misa," L asked, finally looking up from his now closed computer.

"I did it for Light, of course!" Misa said eagerly as she squeezed Light's arm, causing Light to squirm uncomfortably.

"Very well then, Light," L said after a minute of contemplation, "I'll shut down my movie."

By then though, the damage had been done, and even as L was reopening his laptop to shut down his dirty movie, all Light could think was how L and Misa were going to drive him insane.


	3. L's Road Trip Chapter 03

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story

L's Road Trip: Chapter 3

The wait for boarding to begin was without further incident, and Light breathed a sigh of relief once he was on the plane, glad that the torture of the airport was over, though Light and Misa couldn't help but feel the weight of the other passengers' eyes on them for being attached, literally no less, to the nut who had been watching a dirty movie earlier. Light tried to smile nervously at them, but got only strange looks for his trouble. L distributed the plane tickets to Light and Misa from his gym bag and started leading them on to the plane, walking through the line in that hunched way of his. Once they got on the plane, L lead his traveling companions through first class on the plane and into economy, much to Misa's dismay.

"Ryuzaki, what are we doing here?" Misa asked with a touch of indignation.

"Finding our seats. Ah, here we are, row fifty six, seats A through C. Who wants the window seat?"

"Ryuzaki, I don't know if you realized this, but I'm a star! And stars don't fly across the Pacific ocean in economy!" Misa said angrily.

"I didn't want to spend too much of the investigation's funds on what's essentially a personal trip," L said apathetically, "Now again, who wants the window seat?"

"Are you kidding Ryuzaki? All your money, and you cram us into these tiny seats like we were sardines? What's the matter with you, don't you realize that I'm a star?" Misa continued, all but deaf to L's reasoning.

"And yet, here you are. Very well then, for convenience's sake, Misa will take the window seat and I'll take the aisle seat, putting Light in the middle. I certainly wouldn't want to come between you and Light, now would I" L mused as he motioned for Misa and Light to enter the row of seats.

"Oooh, Ryuzaki," Misa said angrily as she stared daggers at L, seemingly refusing to take a seat.

"Misa, please, relax," Light said, making a futile plea for sanity, "This is all right. It's more, intimate this way."

"Intimate?" Misa said curiously before breaking out in a huge grin and hugging Light, "You're right, Light! This is more intimate, and it's with you too! Of course I'll sit down."

Grinning happily, Misa took her seat by the window, dragging Light with her into the middle seat. L followed, crouching on his seat at first until he was told by the crew to get his seatbelt on before take off. L uncomfortably straightened up to get in a position where the belt would fit, then curled his legs against the bottom of the seat. The plane took off without further incident, but as soon as L was allowed too, he took his seat belt off and crouched down in his seat and listened to the radio quietly for an hour. Then L heard nature calling.

"Light, get up, I need to use the bathroom," L said, shaking Light's shoulder a bit.

"Good for you, Ryuzaki. Why are you telling me?" Light said sarcastically.

"Because of these," L said lifting the handcuffs that joined them as he pulled himself off his seat.

"Oh yeah," Light said as he got up as well.

There was a small line in front of the plane's restrooms, but once L and Light reached the front of the line, L opened the door and motioned for Light to enter.

"No thank you, I don't need to use the bathroom," Light said, nice as can be.

"No, you misunderstand, Light," L said flatly, "We are going into this stall at the same time. It's no different from when we used the bathroom back at the tower."

"But, Ryuzaki, there's no room in there," Light said, suddenly sounding a bit worried.

"Sit on the sink and we're set," L said as he entered the stall, giving the chain on the handcuffs a firm tug to drag Light into the bathroom.

"No, Ryuzaki, I'm drawing a line," Light said as he was pulled into the stall, before the door was locked behind him, dragging them both very close together in cramped stall. Light grunted as he was uncomfortably pressed against L.

"Sit on the sink," L said as he dropped his pants and crouched down on the chemical toilet.

"Aw damn it Ryuzaki, I don't want to see that," Light said, shielding his eyes as he reluctantly sat on the bathroom's sink.

"Hey!" came Misa's muffled voice from the other side of the door as she pounded on the now locked door, "What are you two doing in there?"

"Oh no," Light moaned as L looked up.

"Yes, I calculated that there was a sixty eight percent chance of this happening. Say something to calm her down, would you?" L said.

"What's going on, damn it? What are you doing with my boyfriend?" Misa continued as she kept pounding on the door.

"Misa, nothing's happening in here! I want out of here as much as you do!" Light called out, shuddering once as he considered the attention this incident was probably getting from the other passengers.

"Ryuzaki, why are you doing this to us?" Misa said angrily, still battering the door.

"Misa, calm down. I'm okay with this, really," Light lied, wondering if he could actually calm Misa down.

Then the pounding stopped. Once L was done, he nudged Light off the sink, washed his hands, and headed out of the bathroom where Misa was waiting, still looking upset with him. L barely registered this as he started pushing Misa back to their seats. It took a full three minutes to seat the three of them again, with Misa resisting a bit. L quickly plugged back into the radio and started dozing off as he listened to the music, though it was impossible to say if he was asleep or just closing his eyes. Light tried to shrug it off, but he couldn't help but compare seeing L asleep to witnessing a UFO; mind bending if real, but potentially a case of mistaken identity. Still, Light decided not to chance waking him up. Who knew what L might do to Light if he was conscious again.


	4. L's Road Trip Chapter 04

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story.

L's Road Trip: Chapter 4

Fourteen hours. It took fourteen hours to get from Tokyo to Los Angeles, and Light suffered for at least twelve of them. First there was the matter of Misa flipping out over seating arrangements. Then there was the incident in the bathrooms, an incident that repeated every time L or Light needed to go. And Misa caused a scene every time that happened. After a while Light took to holding it in for uncomfortably long periods of time just to avoid another incident. L slept through most of the flight, or at least Light hoped that crouching in his seat with his eyes closed was how L slept. He had never actually seen L sleep prior to this, and had no idea what such a thing would look like. And then there was Misa. She didn't give Light a moment's peace, especially after the movie played. It was a romantic comedy, and that got Misa feeling particularly clingy to Light. She grasped his side while she laughed like a hyena at the movie, and spent the hour after the movie ended recounting the movie for Light, who had chosen to try and sleep (with no success) and analyzing it for him. She then spent another half hour asking him if he'd do for her some of the things she'd seen done in the movie. After that, Misa got bored, but rather than turning to the questionably conscious L, she turned to Light. Needless to say, Light didn't sleep a bit in the entire fourteen hours. Misa fell asleep a few times, but just as Light tried to follow her into slumber, she'd wake up again and stir Light from his rest. Light finally got around to telling Misa to let him rest in the last two hours of the flight, and she finally relented after the seventh time he asked for peace and quiet. It was hard to sleep on a plane though, but soon Light could feel himself drifting off into slumber... only to shaken back to consciousness by L a moment later when the plane had landed.

It was early evening by the time L, Light and Misa gathered up their bags and made it out of LAX after going through customs, surprisingly without further incident, though Light and L got their share of strange looks when the customs officials saw them handcuffed together. Misa glanced around the world famous airport curiously as L lead them to the car rental agency. Light just trudged down the sidewalk, trying desperately to stay awake even as Misa chattered away about how exciting it was to be in Los Angeles.

"Oh Light, isn't this great?" Misa squealed as she hauled her wheeled suitcase behind her, "We're in Hollywood! This is where the magic happens! Imagine, me, famous in two countries!"

"Uh-huh," Light said weakly, barely able to keep hauling the suitcases.

"Ooh, I can't wait to see what kind of car Ryuzaki got us for my ascension into Hollywood royalty!" Misa continued to squeal as L lead them into a car rental office, "Maybe a black SUV or classic red convertible. Wouldn't that be so awesome, Light?"

"Uh-huh," Light repeated, who only wanted the car to be large enough for him to sleep in.

L signed the contracts to rent the car while Light leaned against the counter trying to catch his breath and Misa almost bounced with excitement. Soon though, L followed the clerk into the car lot, with Misa hungrily eyeing the various sporty models of car in the lot. Finally, the three came to a dull green compact car that L quietly unlocked the driver's seat of.

"The hell is this, Ryuzaki?" Misa screeched when she saw the car, "Do you honestly expect me to go to Hollywood riding in this thing?"

"Yes, Misa, I do expect you to ride in this car. You certainly won't be driving it," L said absently as he looked over the interior of the car.

"Misa, please," Light said before yawning; there was no way he could talk Misa into getting into the car, not as tired as he was.

"No! Ryuzaki, I will not ride in this car and that's final!" Misa yelped angrily, literally putting her foot on.

"Very well. Light, would you be so kind as to help me drag her into the back seat?" L asked as he opened the car's left side door and grabbing Misa by the shoulder.

"Huh, oh, sure," Light said groggily as he started half heartedly pushing Misa into the back seat along with L.

The blonde girl was quickly forced into the back of the car, loudly protesting all the while. She screamed, she struggled, but ultimately, the combined muscle of the wide eyed L and the tired Light crammed her back in there before L locked the door behind her. L ran around the side of the car and pressed his body against the side door and told Light to do the same. All too happy to lay back and do nothing, Light leaned against the door happily.

"Give her time, she'll run out of energy soon," L said matter of factly.

"Damn it Ryuzaki, let me out of here!" Misa shouted, pounding against the car's glass window, "Light! Light, he's crazy if he thinks I'm gonna ride in this car to Hollywood!"

But Light was half asleep, unable to try and calm Misa down. Luckily, as L predicted, she calmed down, but didn't look happy about it. After that, Light and L loaded the suitcases into the back, and then L lead Light through the front passenger's side door so L could place himself in the driver's seat without getting tangled in the handcuffs. L straightened out so he could reach the car's peddles, buckled his seat belt and then adjusted the rear view mirror.

"Get your seatbelts on, please" L said as he turned the ignition key.

"Oh, okay, sure," Light said as he put his seat belt on and promptly fell asleep in his seat.

"Hmmph," Misa said as she put her own belt on.

Light wanted to ask L where they were heading, but he was just too tired. Still, as his eyes flickered in and out of sleep despite Misa's complaining about the car, he noticed that they weren't going very far. In fact, L stopped not far from LAX, in a tall motel building surrounded by other tall motel buildings in a cluster. And for this, Light was thankful. He could almost feel the soft bed beneath his back, something that had been denied to him since the night before, still running on no more than three hours of sleep. Light almost wept with joy, but instead he just smiled serenely. Once he got inside the motel, he began to worry. Would Misa cause another scene? Would L make another insane demand of him? But check in went off without another problem and soon the three were hauling their bags up to a room. Inside was two beds and a TV. Misa looked around.

"Ryuzaki, there are three of us, right?" Misa asked as Light flopped down on one of the beds with a great sigh of relief, leaving his suitcase and one of Misa's by the door.

"Correct," L said quickly, setting his gym bag down on the other bed.

"And there are only two beds, right?" Misa continued.

"Correct," L repeated.

"So, how is this going to work? I'm not sharing a bed with anyone who can't give my Light some privacy in the bathroom!" Misa went on.

"You and Light will share a bed. I assumed this had an eight seven percent chance of appeasing you," L said as he crouched down on the bed.

"You mean, I get to sleep with Light?" Misa said excitedly as she dropped on to the bed and gave Light a strong full body squeeze, waking him up with a start.

"I'm not Kira!" Light yelped when Misa hugged him, snapping back to reality quickly enough, "Oh, Misa. What, what happened?"

"We're going to be sleeping together!" she exclaimed, "But down worry, we won't do anything crazy, we're saving that for our wedding night! I trust you'll be a gentleman about this?"

"Sure. Nothing, nothing, funny," Light said with a yawn, flopping back down on the bed and reaching for a pillow.

"Sorry, Light," L said with a tug of the handcuffs, "I need to use the bathroom first."

"Aw damn it, Ryuzaki, can't it wait?" Light said, more than a little annoyed.

"No. No it can not," L said before yanking the handcuffs again and jerking Light out of bed.

A few minutes later, L was done cleaning up the bathroom and Light lay down on the bed, still chained to L, and slowly drifted off into unconscious as Misa cuddled up to him. Then they were both woken up by the pleasured moans of L's computer.


	5. L's Road Trip Chapter 05

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story

L's Road Trip: Chapter 5

Light woke up twelve hours later feeling better than he'd ever felt before in his life. Then he opened his eyes and saw Misa clinging to him. Then he turned around and saw L crouching in front of his laptop, scrolling downwards through some text in a file. Then he realized that he wasn't at home, waking up after a long nightmare.

"Good morning, Light," L said dully without looking up from his laptop, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, Ryuzaki, I slept fine," Light said a few seconds later, still trying to get his bearings, wondering if L slept at all the previous night, "How about you, how did you sleep?"

"I slept wonderfully," L said, though Light had no way to tell if he was lying or not, "Well we've got a full day in Los Angeles before we set out for Las Vegas tomorrow. What would you like to do today?"

"Well, I can't really think of anything other than maybe go to Hollywood. Maybe we should ask Misa," Light said, trying to sound helpful.

"Yes, she did seem rather eager to go to Hollywood," L said as he got off his bed and went over to shake Misa.

"Oh, Light," Misa mumbled happily, before slowly opening her eyes, "Ryuzaki? Wait, where's Light?"

"Right here, Misa," Light said, pulling off the sheets.

"Oh, Light, it's so good to wake up next to you," Misa said as she gently hugged Light, "I hope one day we'll be doing this every morning!"

"Uh, okay, sure. Anyway," Light said, quickly and nervously changing subjects, "What would you like to do today? Ryuzaki says we have a full day in Los Angeles to, whatever we want."

"Oh, really? Well," Misa said, lingering off for a moment before exploding with energy again, "I'd like to try out for an open casting call and be discovered in Hollywood! Can we go to one, can we Ryuzaki?"

"I don't see why not," L said absently, "But first, let's get some breakfast."

"Okay, but first I need to get dressed," Misa said with a giggle as she got up and went for the first of her large suitcases and started rooting through it.

"Very well then," L said as he went back to scrolling through his text.

Misa selected a few pieces of clothing and then coyly went to the bathroom to change, leaving Light and L to wait. Light laid back down and slowly began to appreciate being able to do so. So of course he knew it couldn't last. Soon, Misa emerged from the bathroom, wearing a pair of bright red jeans and a red baby doll shirt. She gave a little twirl for Light and looked at him.

"Well, Light, what do you think?" she said happily.

"You look, great, Misa," Light said as he sat up quickly.

"You may want to reconsider your choice of outfit, Misa," L said absently, looking up from his computer only once.

"Oh, right, like I'm going to take fashion advice from a walking disaster area like you, Ryuzaki," Misa said defiantly, "You wear the same thing everyday, and you're literally wearing the same thing you wore yesterday. Besides, with a look like this, I'm sure to be taken in by Hollywood!"

L just shrugged to her and went back to his computer. After that, Light changed his shirt and underwear, with L removing the cuffs just long enough to take Light's shirt off. For his part, L didn't change a thing, stopping only to roll some deodorant over his armpits. Breakfast was a simple affair in the motel's lobby; nothing terribly elaborate, just a few items of food left out for whomever wanted to claim them. L brought his computer in order to access the wireless internet connection the lobby gave him, putting away a trio of doughnuts and a syrupy coffee spiked with at least a dozen sugar packets. Light and Misa found more sensible meals, but soon all attention fell to L's computer. Misa, still eager to try out for an open call audition in Hollywood, pressed L to search the internet for an audition that day, and, much to everyone's surprise, L managed to find one for actresses out in Hollywood. Misa's eyes lit up when she heard the news, and quickly put away her breakfast and began pressing L and Light to hurry up so they could get to the audition sooner. Soon they were checked out and out on the road again, Misa's previous complaints about the dull green compact seemingly forgotten.

The studio where the part was being cast had a sizable line by the camera and the casting director's seat, where a portly man in his mid forties with a head of bleach blonde hair was sitting. It was an ordinary indoor studio, with no windows and fluorescent lights shining overhead, the only other light in the studio coming from a pair of scene lights pointed in front of a backdrop with a beach scene on its surface. Misa quickly got in line with the other actresses, while L started dragging Light to a small table off to the side, a table lined with doughnuts and a coffee pot. Light tried to keep an eye on Misa, fearing that she might cause another incident, but she simply waited in line, staying out of trouble. Light breathed a sigh of relief, and turned back to L, just in time to see the detective licking the frosting off the doughnuts and putting the barren pastries back where he found them.

"Ryuzaki, what the hell are you doing?" Light hissed nervously.

"Well, these doughnuts are just laying out here," L said, a bit defensively, a tone Light hadn't heard him take since he was proven wrong about Light being Kira.

"That's disgusting," Light muttered to L, "Did it ever cross your mind that someone might want to eat those doughnuts later?"

"Yes, it did. I failed to see why that should stop me," L continued flatly, plucking out another doughnut with brown frosting and setting to work licking the frosting off of it.

"You're sick Ryuzaki, you know that?" Light said with a shudder, "Look, I can't be a party to this. I'm going to wait for Misa."

Light shook his head and started pulling away from L out of embarrassment, dragging the handcuff chain with him. At about the same time, the casting director got up from his chair and headed for the doughnut table. He took one look at L and started storming over towards the detective.

"Hey, who the hell..." the casting director barked at L, causing L to look up just in time to see the casting director get entangled in the chain connecting Light and L.

"Uh oh," Light said with a gulp.

"Whoa, crap!" the casting director yelped as he hit the floor, dragging Light and L down with him.

Light and L hit the ground with an audible thump, causing L to drop his doughnut. The casting director quickly scrambled to his feet, falling back down to the ground when the chain tripped him on his way up. Finally he got to his feet and glared at Light and L.

"You two, get the hell out of here, now," the casting director growled angrily.

"Oh, definitely, we're on our way," Light said quickly as he tried to drag L away on the handcuff chain, but L refused to budge.

"We're waiting for our friend to finish her audition," L said as he reached for another doughnut.

"Security!" the casting director shouted as two large men materialized from the woodwork to grab L and Light by the shoulders and started hauling them towards the door.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Misa shrieked from her place in line, storming out of the line to confront the casting director, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking out the trash," the casting director said, sounding exasperated.

"Trash?! Trash?!" Misa shrieked, "That's my boyfriend!"

"Then you have terrible taste in men," the casting director said flatly, "Now get back in line if you wanna try out for the part."

"Grrr," Misa snarled as she meet the casting director's gaze and planted her feet, "No! I won't get back in line! Bring Light back in here and apologize to him."

"Fine. Security!" the casting director barked.

"What? Hey, wait a minute!" Misa yelped as a third security guard appeared and grabbed her by the shoulders to start dragging her out of the studio.

Soon all three were being dragged out towards the studio's door. Light and L didn't resist, and were promptly shoved out the door. They tried to keep their footing, but L slipped and tumbled to the ground, dragging Light down with him as they fell into a heap, Light on top of L. Misa struggled, but she too was shown the door. She tried planting her feet again, but the muscled security guard simply lifted her off her feet and hurled her out the door, throwing her on top of Light and L. Laying there, flat on the sidewalk with Light and Misa on top of him, L cleared his throat.

"Well that was fun. What do you want to do next?"

"Glad to hear you enjoyed it, Ryuzaki," Light said with a groan.

"Damn it Ryuzaki, did you get Light in trouble? Oooh, I am so mad at you right now, Ryuzaki!" Misa said angrily.

"Yes, I suppose you could say I got Light in trouble," L said absently, "Now would you both mind getting off of me? I believe now is the proper time to leave this studio before the police arrive."

Light and Misa pulled themselves off of L and then L pried himself off the pavement with a shake of his head. Then he started back down the sidewalk with his hunched walk, heading back for the car with Light and Misa following right behind him. The rest of the day passed much as the audition had; horribly. Misa refused to give up on her dream of Hollywood stardom, and dragged Light and L to every movie and television studio in Hollywood. She would approach the front door, and oh so sweetly offer her services as an actress and model. When she was told to go to auditions, she became demanding or L offended someone, and in each instance, she and her companions were hauled out into the street, leaving Misa ever more frustrated. It was evening by the time she ran out of studios to harass, though she still remained confidant that she could become a star if only Ryuzaki would stop getting her in trouble. Drained by their day's quest, the three traveled down to East Hollywood in their dull green car, looking for a place to eat before they set out down Interstate 15 for Las Vegas. L parked the car and lead Light and subsequently Misa out and into the streets, which were coming alive with people now that the day was over.

"Tell me, Light, have you ever eaten Mexican food?" L asked absently as he lead the chained Light down the street with Misa in tow.

"No, Ryuzaki, I can't say that I have," Light said as he gazed down the streets with Misa attached to his arm.

"Neither have I, but I've read about something called flan that's apparently quite sweet," L continued.

It was then that a woman in a tight mini skirt, halter top and thigh high boots approached the group. She saw that Light was with Misa, but singled out L since he seemed to be alone for the night. She approached him with the sweetest of smiles.

"Hey there," she said to L, "How about a date, handsome?"

"But miss, why would I want to date a total stranger?" L asked curiously.

"Well, it's not a proper date, sweetie. You don't have to pay for dinner or a movie," she said, still smiling at L.

"Then what kind of date would it be?" L asked while Light and Misa stepped back, aware of what was going on, but too angry at L to pull him out of the situation.

"Well, you and me would go somewhere private, and, you know, get to know each other better," the woman continued.

"Why would we have to get to know each other better in private?" L asked flatly.

"Because we'd be," the woman said, starting sound a little confused, "well, we'd be doing whatever you wanted me to do."

"Why would you want to do that?" asked L, tilting his head a little but his tone never betraying his confusion.

"Honey, everyone wants me to do whatever they want. Come on now," she said coyly, "You can drop the act. You know what I'm getting at."

"No, I'm afraid I don't," L said simply.

"Gah, are you dense or something? Do you want to have sex with me, yes or no?!" she finally shouted at L.

"Why would I want to have sex with a total stranger?" L asked her, tone as flat as ever.

The woman simply screamed a screech of absolute frustration and ran off as quick as she could.

"Well, that was odd. Do you suppose she might have been a prostitute?" L asked, turning to Light and Misa.

Light looked at L as if he was crazy while Misa cracked up laughing.

Dinner was Mexican food. Misa discovered tamales, Light put away three tacos and L became addicted to flan after initially mistaking it for a new kind of cake, savoring every bite of his food. After that, they piled back into the car and hit Interstate 5 towards Interstate 15 out of Los Angeles, with Misa in the back seat, peering out the window at the city as it passed by. Then, somewhere along Interstate 5, L spoke.

"Misa, you may wish to duck down," he said flatly.

"Ryuzaki, you missed your chance with the hooker, and I'm not about to do anything disgusting, least of all for..." Misa said indigiantly, before she was cut off by the sound of gunfire narrowly missing the dull green compact.

"What the hell?!" Light yelped.

"Eeek!" Misa shrieked as she scrambled for the car's floor, catching sight of three men in blue clothes carrying guns in another car, a brown Pinto, on the freeway, pointing their weapons in Misa's direction.

"Yes, Misa," L said flatly, apparently unmoved by the display of violence, "Those men in the other car are from the Crips gang. They think you're from the Bloods gang because you're wearing red, hence the reason they're shooting at you."

"Ryuzaki, get us the hell out of here!" Misa shrieked again.

Gunfire raked the car, dinging the doors and cracking the windows on the left side of the car. Light and Misa ducked down, while L lowered his head in the driver's seat just enough to see out the windshield and hit the accelerator with a desperate energy fueled by sickening amounts of sugar. The green compact surged across the highway as the Pinto scrambled to keep up. The three passengers in the Pinto continued firing bullets at the green compact, failing to the hit side where Misa was hiding and nailing the back of the car. L pressed against the accelerator pedal as if his life depended on it, mostly because it did. Keeping his foot weighed on the pedal, L soon got his car out of the range of the gangsters' guns, but he hadn't lost the Pinto just yet. He kept the car at top speed as he turned on to Interstate 10, slowing down only once he was certain he had lost the Pinto. Slowly, Light and Misa pulled themselves back up and stared at L.

"Such a pity," L mused as he breezed down Interstate 10, "I don't think I'll be able to get my security desposit back."


	6. L's Road Trip Chapter 06

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story

L's Road Trip: Chapter 6

The escape from Los Angeles went off without further incident, much to Light's relief. Part of him wished that people like those gangsters would simply die and be out of the world's misery, but he shook it off as Kira thinking, something he knew he could never in a million years agree with. Further, he was angrier at L at the moment for dragging him on this insane trip. Still, he found it hard to stay mad at L when Light himself was so tired after a long day of being chased out of studios, approached by prostitutes and shot at by street gangs. Light was relieved when L finally pulled into a motel parking lot outside of Barstow. Perhaps out of guilt for dragging Light and Misa through this mad journey, L carried one of Misa's large suitcases in addition to his gym bag while Light got the other suitcase. They dragged both cases up to their room, another two bed room with a single bathroom for the three of them, and Light flopped down on the bed with a heavy sigh.

"Ah, this feels so good, to just lay down and take a load off after a long day," Light said, sounding relieved, "And there's nothing that ruin it now."

"Oh, Light, there's a pool!" Misa squealed as she glanced out the window to reveal a small swimming pool.

"You were saying, Light?" L deadpanned as he put his gym bag down on the bed.

"So, Light," Misa said coyly "How about a little swim?"

"I don't know Misa," Light said tiredly, "I'd really like to rest right now."

"Oh come on, Light!" Misa went on as she opened up one of her suitcases, "I'm sure I'll find a way to make it worth your whiiile."

"Come on Misa, it's been a long day, how do you even have energy for swimming after nearly getting shot?" Light said weakly.

"I have the energy because I want to go swimming with you," Misa said quickly as she rooted around in her suitcase, finally withdrawing a two piece thong bikini.

"Misa, I, I mean," Light stammered out, running out of energy to argue.

"Oh come on, Light. I'm going to wear my bikiiini," she said cheerfully as she lifted her practically non existent bathing suit, skipping off to the bathroom to put it on.

"Well, Ryuzaki," Light said as he turned to L, "What do you say, do you feel like swimming right now, after everything you've just been through?"

"I wouldn't mind a swim," L said flatly.

"All right, I guess. I mean, I did bring my swimming trunks," Light said as he went to root through his suitcase to pull out a pair of dark blue trunks.

"Then let's get changed," L said as he began removing his pants and shoes.

"Well, if I'm going swimming, you probably are too," Light said as he followed L in stripping bare, sliding his swimming trunks on when he was done, something L didn't follow suit in doing.

"Precisely," L said as he shook off his pants and undid the handcuffs to remove his shirt.

"Uh, Ryuzaki," Light said once he realized that L was completely naked, "Where are your swimming trunks?"

"Oh, I didn't bring any," L said flatly.

"Ryuzaki!" Light snapped, "You can't honestly expect me to let you go swimming naked."

"I believe the Americans call it skinny dipping," L said absently as he undid the chain on Light's wrist, "Now do you wish to remove your shirt or not?"

"Ryuzaki..." Light lingered off angrily before shrugging off his shirt just in time for L to relock the chain and speaking again, "Fine."

Misa emerged a minute later wearing her thong bikini, posing a little in Light's direction, but soon enough her attention was drawn to the naked L. Her jaw dropped and she smacked her hand against her forehead.

"Light, please tell me he's not doing what I think he's doing," Misa moaned.

"I'm afraid so," Light responded.

"I didn't bring a swimming suit," L said with a shrug.

"Ryuzaki, I don't say this enough, but you're a pervert!" Misa said accusingly.

"Are we going swimming or not?" L asked nonchalantly, causing Light and Misa to stare at him dumbfounded for a moment.

"Well, you can be as gross as you want," Misa said, turning her nose up as she grabbed Light's hand and started leading him out of the room, "But me and Light are going swimming, no matter how weird you are."

"Misa, please, if Ryuzaki didn't bring any swimming trunks, we really shouldn't be going swimming," Light pleaded with her, even though he staggered out after her out of the room and down the hallway with L in tow.

"Don't worry Light, I'm sure people will over look the fact that we're stuck with a pervert!" Misa said, a bit too loudly for Light's taste as he was sure the entire floor overheard that part of the conversation.

"I'm sorry Misa, I simply forgot swimming to bring trunks," L said, not sounding apologetic in the least.

"Let's just forget about it for now, okay?" Light said weakly as he tried to ignore the detective's nudity.

"Fine, I can ignore the huge pervert I'm going swimming with," Misa said, still louder than Light was comfortable with, especially since at least one person poked their head out of their room to see what all the noise was about and saw the three of them heading to the pool.

The pool's waters were cool to the touch, and Misa cannon balled into it, before motioning for Light to join her. Light climbed down and L followed behind him, though it took L a moment to adjust to the water. Meanwhile, Light found himself in Misa's sights.

"Oh Liiight," Misa said while L lingered next to Light, naked, "So, what do you think of my bikini?"

"It looks great on you, Misa," Light said tensely as he took a nervous glance around the pool, waiting to be thrown out for what L was doing.

"Really? You think?" Misa said excitedly, her excitement dulled only by a quick glance to L, who wasn't doing much, just standing in the water next to Light.

"Yeah. It looks great on you," Light repeated nervously, still looking around the pool's side, certain that they would be ejected at any moment.

"Well," Misa said, leaning in to whisper to Light, "Maybe you'd like to see me do a back stroke in it."

"Wha, what?" Light asked, thoroughly confused.

"Just watch, silly," Misa said with a giggle as she swam a short distance and began doing a back stroke, distracted only by L as she went, shuddering every time she saw the naked man.

Light watched her with slight arousal while L just stood there apathetically, heading turning to watch Misa swim in a show meant for Light, meeting Misa's gaze several times as she turned to glare at L. After about five minutes, she sighed and swam back to Light.

"I can't do this, Light," Misa said, sounding defeated, "This is just too weird."

"I agree, Misa," Light said sadly, "Let's just get Ryuzaki dressed and sleep it off."

"Are we done swimming already?" L asked as he followed Light and Misa retreating from the pool.

It was fairly simple to get Ryuzaki dressed again; apparently all that happened was that he really had forgotten to pack swim trunks, despite Misa's constant accusations that he enjoyed it. Fortunately for Light, sleep came quickly once everyone was done cleaning up before calling it a night. Light welcomed the darkness because it meant that, for a night, he was no longer trapped on the road with L and Misa. He woke up roughly eight hours later to the sound of an alarm clock blaring, something L had apparently set since neither Light nor Misa had set it. Light's eyes shot open to see L already awake watching a muted television set and scrolling through text on his laptop.

"Ryuzaki? What the hell is going on?" Light croaked out weakly as Misa detached herself from Light to rub her eyes.

"Oh, good morning, Light" L said flatly, not bothering to look up from either monitor.

Checking out was quick enough, though as ever, hauling Misa's suitcases strained their muscles. Once they were out on the road, L finally acknowledged that perhaps they should stop and get some breakfast, albeit only after Misa spent a half hour straight complaining about being hungry. So L pulled into an ordinary looking diner shaped like a large trailer off Interstate 15. They stepped out of the car and bounded into the diner, and were seated without too much trouble, though L lingered for a moment at a display of pastries in a glass case at the front of the diner, pressing his face against the glass, much to Light's embarrassment. But all Light could do was sigh and give the handcuffs a quick tug. Once they were seated, they ordered breakfast, though L's meal of a slice of strawberry pie drew a strange look for the waitress.

"Tell me, did either of you two know that pies could have fruit in them?" L asked his companions with his mouth full of pie.

"No, Ryuzaki, I can't say I've ever heard of such a thing before," Light said, swallowing his pancakes before speaking.

"This is delicious." L said as he took another bite of his pie, before taking another sip of coffee, again made thick with sugar packets.

There was a loud mechanical roar outside a few minutes later, causing the three travelers to look up curiously before going back to their food. A minute later, a large, thick man in heavy leathers stomped into the diner. Light and Misa took momentary notice of the apparent biker, at least if the vest reading "Desert Demons" he wore was any indication of his occupation, but L continued to consume his pie quietly. Light ducked down a little hoping to evade the large man's notice, but Misa didn't do the same, and soon caught the large man's eye. He approached her with great swagger, grinning confidantly as he approached the blonde girl.

"Hey baby," he said as he gave Misa's butt a quick, gentle swat.

"Hey!" Misa shrieked, "Who the hell do you think you are groping me like that, you grungy little troll?"

"Whoa, kitten's got fangs," the biker said with a chuckle, "I like that in a chick."

"Hmmph," Misa said defiantly as she turned to Light, "Light, please inform this so-called man that I'm not interested in his lewd advances."

For his part, L watched with silent interest, drinking his syrupy coffee absently as he looked on, his face betraying neither fear nor amusement.

"Izzat so?" the biker grunted as he regarded Light, who gulped once he realized what was going on, "He looks like a wuss to me."

"Hah!" Misa said triumphantly, "You're in for it now! Light, show this guy what you can do!"

"Look, we don't want any trouble," Light said diplomatically as L reached for some money and left it on the table before he continued to watch on.

"Too bad, pencil neck," the biker said gruffly as he glared down at Light, "'Cause you just found more trouble than your ass can handle."

"I'm not trying to start anything," Light continued while L lifted himself up out of his seat, "Misa sometimes shoots her mouth off, she didn't mean anything by that."

"Light!" Misa shrieked, "Defend my honor against this ruffian damn it! I know you can do it!"

"Her mouth just wrote a check your ass obviously can't cash, punk" the biker said as he stormed over to Light and lifted the young man off his seat by his collar.

"Wait a second! This is all a big misunderstanding! We don't need to do this!" Light yelped as he noticed L tensing up in the corner of his eye.

It was then that L silently unleashed a fast and vicious kick to the back of the biker's skull. The biker's head bounced forward, dropping Light's collar, who wasted no time sending his fist flying into the biker's face, sending the large man crashing to the ground. Light barely had time to catch his breath or reevaluate the situation before things changed again.

"Run," L said flatly as he started fleeing for the door, who was followed by Light without the handcuff chain being yanked, grabbing Misa by the wrist as he fled.

The three travelers ran to their car and quickly piled inside. L quickly started the ignition and sped off as quickly as he could, rushing back to the relative safety of the highways. Fortunately, the biker didn't seem to follow them, and after ten or so tense minutes, Light stopped breathing heavily and L slowed the car down.

"Yay, Light!" Misa squealed once she realized the danger had passed.

"Misa!" Light angrily snapped, "You could've gotten us killed talking like that!"

"I'm sorry, Light," Misa said, sounding genuinely apologetic before perking up again, "But wasn't it awesome how you defended my honor against that punk! First Ryuzaki kicked him in the head and then you knocked his teeth right off his ugly face! Tell me that wasn't the coolest thing ever!"

"Misa, never do that again," Light said defeatedly.

"All right, Light, I swear to never get you in trouble like that again," Misa said, apologetic again before shifting back to her usual exuberance, "But if it makes you feel any better, I thought it was romantic the way you protected me."

Light just sighed and leaned back into his seat.

"Oh all right, Light, I promise to stay out of trouble, again," Misa said eagerly.

"Thank you," Light said weakly, "Ryuzaki, how far are we from Las Vegas?"

"Many hours away," L said absently.

Light just sighed again, and watched the desert fly by. Chained as he was to L, there wasn't much else he could do.


	7. L's Road Trip Chapter 07

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story.

L's Road Trip: Chapter 7

It was a long road to Las Vegas, made only longer by the fact that Misa was constantly bored with the trip. Light tried to sleep, but as always, Misa's affectionate nature kept him from getting even a moment of rest, and Light was too polite to tell her to quiet down. So he spent the entire road from Barstow to Las Vegas discussing life, love and his relationship with Misa. Sometimes she would try to start a conversation with L, who was only too happy to speak to her, but inevitably, L would accidentally (or intentionally; it was hard to tell with L) offend her with his words, and Light would quickly have to act as a peacemaker before hostilities erupted and completely prevented him from resting. Still, Light did managed to relax, if not sleep. Finally, they reached Las Vegas, Misa's eyes widening at the glittering, flashing lights of the famous Vegas Strip, and Light couldn't help but gawk as well. L's eyes, always wide open, stayed on the road, though apparently even he couldn't avoid marveling at the lights of the Strip, his hands loosening up a touch on the dull green compact's wheel. After rolling down the Strip, they finally pulled into a parking lot behind the Riviera casino hotel. As always, checking in went without a problem, and soon L lead Light and Misa to their shared room.

"It feels so great to be out of that car," Light mused as he hauled Misa's suitcase into their shared room, another two bed, one bathroom place with one TV and one alarm clock Light was sure was going to be screaming at him in the morning.

"Yes, I concur," L mumbled as he hauled Misa's other suitcase and lowered it inside their room, "I suppose now we should order a few grapefruits."

"Why would we want to do that?" Misa asked, "Are you hungry, Ryuzaki?"

"No, it just seems like the right thing to do," L said absently.

"What's that smell?" Light asked as he took in a breath of the room's air, a foul stench that reeked of decay.

"That's a very good question," L said, sniffing the air a bit like a dog.

"Ew, it stinks!" Misa exclaimed as she got a whiff of the air.

"Yeah," Light said, frowning at the scent, "You think we should ask that they clean out the room again?"

"Definitely!" Misa shrieked, "I can't sleep here if it smells this bad!"

"Yes, I suppose we could get dinner while they clean it out again," L mused as he unshouldered his gym bag, seemingly unaffected by the sickening smell as he went to put his laptop in the room's safe, dragging Light with him despite the other man's disgust, before turning to face Light and Misa wordlessly.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Misa asked as she turned to leave the room, "Ryuzaki, tell them that our room stinks and we want it cleaned. Meanwhile, me and Light will go off somewhere for a private, candle lit dinner."

"Misa, I'm still handcuffed to Ryuzaki," Light said while L watched on.

"Grrr. Well, I guess we could find somewhere less intimate to eat," Misa said angrily.

L led the travelers back to the front desk and told them of the problem with the room before heading out to the buffet. Dinner was an unimpressive affair, and always, L devoured sweets to keep his brain running at full capacity while Light and Misa ate normal meals. Finally, reasoning that by the time they were done eating their room would be cleaned out and smelling less like rot. Unfortunately for them, it still smelled awful, the only difference being the addition of a new artificial scent to the air.

"Eeeew!" Misa said as she entered the room, "It still stinks! All they did was spray air fresheners in here!"

"What a disappointment," L said flatly.

"Where is that smell coming from?" Light asked no one in particular as he started searching the room.

"It's all over the place!" Misa whined as she held her nose.

"I think it's coming from the bed," Light said as he sniffed the air and made his way over towards the bed on the left.

"I think you might be right," L said dully as he watched Light begin tearing off the sheets and covers of the bed,

"Ryuzaki, help me move the mattress," Light said quickly.

Between the two of them, Light and L easily lifted up the mattress, to reveal something very unusual. Beneath the mattress, hidden in the bed itself, was a human corpse in a suit, rotting and reeking.

Misa gasped in shock.

"Is that, is that what I think it is?" she said with a nervous gulp, "Gross!"

"Huh. So that's what the smell is," L said flatly.

It wasn't long before the police were called in to do something about the body in the bed. Once the police arrived, things started to fall into place. The remains were apparently of a suspected mobster who had gone missing a few days previous. L listened to the officers intently while Light spent most of the time trying to keep Misa quiet while the police worked. Before L could get more details about the case though, hotel management descended on the three travelers and apologized profusely for the corpse in their room. L reasoned that it wasn't technically their fault, but he was too enthralled with the process of the corpse's removal to really complain. Misa on the other hand felt she was rightly outraged, requiring further calming from Light. In the end, after they told their story to the officers, hotel management offered the three an upgrade, from their current two bed room, to the high roller suite, which Misa eagerly leapt on. Still, as reluctant as he was, L didn't argue when Misa had him and Light gather up their bags and go to the high roller suite.

The high roller suite was a marvel to behold. It was huge, with three rooms, two large beds sitting side by side, a large screen TV and a hot tub in the main room.

"Perhaps we should find corpses in our rooms more often," L mused as he put down Misa's suitcase.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd say anything like this, but I'm glad I found that corpse," Light said, lowering Misa's other suitcase.

"Isn't this wonderful, Light?" Misa almost squealed as she clung to Light's arm, "Ooh, I wanna use the hot tub!"

"That sounds relaxing," Light said, genuinely smiling for the first time the entire trip.

Soon, all three were in the hot tub, Misa and Light in their swimming suits and L naked again, but this time Misa wasn't complaining. They leaned against the sides of the tub and eased into the warm water, and managed to forget all they had been through for a half hour. Even L managed to smile a bit as the three of them made small talk. Eventually though it was time to go to sleep, and after cleaning up, the three of them crashed into their beds; large, comfortable beds that made Light completely forget the chain connecting him to L. Yes, despite the fight in the diner, the body in the bed and a naked L, Light had had a good day, for a brief period of time, he was glad he had gotten dragged along on this odyssey.

That didn't last very long. Once he woke up when the alarm clock went off (set, again, by L, who, again, was already awake), Light found Misa clinging to him and reaching for his crotch. Light gently nudged her hand away, only to cause her twitch in her sleep. This didn't seem so bad to Light, until Misa's sleeping body, entwined with his, twitched and sent its knee into his crotch.

"Yeeouch!" Light yelped when Misa's knee met his groin.

"Oh, good morning, Light," L said, looking up from his computer for only a moment.

"Mmm," Misa said as she stirred from her sleep, "Oh, morning Light!"

"Watch it, Misa," Light said weakly, "You just kneed me in the groin."

"Oh no, I'm so sorry!" Misa exclaimed quickly, moving her leg as fast she could, sounding profusely apologetic.

"So what would you two like to do today?" L asked, turning to the two in the other bed.

"I want to play blackjack!" Misa said excitedly, Light's pain apparently forgotten in an instant.

"That sounds, great," Light said as he sat up in the bed.

"Very well then, we'll head out to the casino and see how long a hundred dollars in chips lasts us," L said flatly.

And after breakfast at the buffet, wherein L again consumed nothing but sugar filled foods, in this case a trio of doughnuts, the three hit the casino floor. L took a hundred dollars in cash and traded them for casino and started looking for a blackjack table.

"I must say, Misa," L said, "I'm surprised you want to play blackjack. Like all gambling games, the blackjack rules always favor the house."

"That's okay," Misa said cheerfully as she made her way down the brightly lit (but completely devoid of sunlight) corridor of the casino, past slot machines and roulette wheels, "I learned a few tricks from one of my former managers! I know how to win!"

"Misa, no one wins in casinos," Light said plainly.

"Hmm. Well she's so confidant, let's give her fifty dollars and see how far she goes," L mused, apparently to himself, but Light knew he was being addressed.

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt," Light said while L was already handing over half of his chips to Misa.

They found a cheap blackjack table and sat Misa down in front of it. Light and L stood behind her, watching her cards over her shoulder. Misa started with small bets. And then a strange thing happened. She started to win. Sometimes she would bet, others she would fold, but she always seemed to know when to fold and when she stood a good chance of winning. L eventually gave her the rest of his chips as she continued to win. Soon she had accumulated a large pile of chips, causing Light's jaw to drop and L to tilt his head.

"I, don't believe it," Light said, dumbfounded.

"Statistically this shouldn't happen," L said flatly, "Amazing."

"See, I told you I could win!" Misa said with a giggle as she picked up her chips, now built up into two cupfuls of chips, "Come on, let's go to the big money tables!"

Light and L followed Misa through the casino, moving to a higher stakes table, where her winning streak again persisted. It took a while, but soon she had more chips than she could carry in two hands, forcing Light and L to carry some of them for her as they continued to look on, still shocked that she was winning. Eventually, Misa stood up from the table and stretched, her back still to Light and L.

"Wasn't that fun?" she exclaimed to her companions, "But I think it's time to quit while I'm ahead."

"You better believe it's time to quit," a heavy voice said from behind the three.

"What?" Light said as all three turned around to face a large man with red hair and dark, angry eyes in a suit flanked by half a dozen blurry security guards.

"This can't be good," L mused as the other blackjack players scattered, allowing the security guards to grasp all three of the travelers and begin leading them away from the blackjack table.

"Hey, you can't do this!" Misa shrieked as she was pulled away from the table, trying to grab the side of the table to resist being moved, but a quick tug from her captors caused her fingers to slip, before she could grab her cups of chips.

"Wait, what's going on, what'd we do wrong?" Light asked as the handcuffs came out, lashing their hands together as quickly as they could.

The three were dragged through the casino and finally pulled into a locked back room, hurled into a dimly lit, windowless room where they tumbled to the ground in a heap. The large man leading the guards looked over the three while the half dozen guards surrounded Light, L and Misa.

"Okay punks," the large man growled, "We know you've been cheating, now make this easy on us all and tell us how."

"Is that what this about?!" Light snapped, "You think we're cheating?"

"We don't think, we know," the large man deadpanned, "Now which one of you was spying on the dealer's hand?"

"Neither of us was spying on anyone!" Light snapped again, sounding more worried than angry, despite his best efforts to come off as calm and fearless.

"Yeah!" Misa shrieked defensively, "Haven't you ever heard of card counting?"

"That would explain how she kept winning," L said, mostly to himself.

"A smart ass, huh?" the large man snarled as he grabbed L's collar, tugged L off the ground and stared daggers at the dark eyed man.

"Hey, wait a second!" Light said as L was being manhandled and Misa lowered herself a bit closer to the floor trying not to be seen.

"Or what?!" the large man snapped as he turned his neck to glare at Light.

"Oh come on!" Light shrieked nervously, "Why do you think we were cheating?

"Because your little girlfriend kept winning, no one wins that much," the large man growled, "Maybe you two were spying on the dealer. Maybe she marked the cards. It doesn't matter. We've caught you, and now you're so deep in shit, it isn't even funny."

"Tell me, do you have any proof?" L asked, neither snide nor sarcastic, sounding more curious than anything else.

"Yeah, we've got proof, freak," the large man snarled at L, "Kinda makes it seem like a good idea to confess now, doesn't it?"

"May we see this proof, please?" L asked in an uncharacteristic show of politeness.

The large man glared at L for a long minute, before he spit and snarled at L.

"Get out this casino. Pack your bags, and get the hell out," he growled, before he opened the door and started ushering the three out of the windowless room.

The guards forced Light, L and Misa to their feet and escorted them to their room, where they quickly gathered their possessions and found themselves walking through the hotel's parking garage, hauling Misa's suitcases back to the dull green compact. They walked in silence until they were safely in the garage.

"Oh man, why'd they take my winnings?" Misa whined, "I was on a roll!"

"I think that's why they took our winnings," Light said with a sigh, "Let's just be thankful they didn't call the police."

"Yes, that would have been quite the situation," L mused.

"That's an understatement," Light said flatly.

"Where are we gonna stay now?" Misa said, voice still high with frustration.

"Actually, we're heading back out on the road today now, anyway," L said flatly, "In fact, this is good, since we're back on the road sooner than I anticipated.

"Ryuzaki, exactly how far are we going on this trip?"

"New York City," L said simply as he unlocked the car.

"You're kidding, right?" Light asked nervously.

"No, I'm not kidding," L continued as he started loading Misa's suitcase into the trunk of the car.

"You hear that, Light," Misa said excitedly, "We're going to New York City!"

Light gulped as he felt his stomach twisting into knots at the prospect of traveling all the way across the United States with L and Misa.


	8. L's Road Trip Chapter 08

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story

L's Road Trip: Chapter 8

Once they pulled out of the parking garage, L began cruising the neighborhoods of Las Vegas, winding his way back to Interstate 15 through the suburban homes that dotted the landscape of the city. Misa remained in the back sulking at her mistreatment at the casino, while Light laid back in his seat and tried to forget the incident in the casino. He supposed that being roughed up by casino security had no long term effect on the ever detached L, but Light knew that was only speculation on his part. For all Light knew, L was as exasperated and furious as he was. Though he wasn't counting on it. Suddenly, the car came to a stop at a curb with plastic recycling bins placed at its side for collection the next day.

"Light, exit the car on your side and I'll follow you," L said, giving another blunt order.

"Okay, Ryuzaki, whatever you say," Light said uncertainly.

L followed Light out of the car and started dragging the other man over to the recycling bin and started rooting through it eagerly, until he finally found an empty milk jug with a blue cap on its top.

"Ah, here we go," L said as he started leading Light back to the car.

"Congratulations, Ryuzaki, you've found some garbage," Light said sarcastically, still not quite sure what the hell was going on.

"Thank you," L said as he lead Light back into the car, making it all the more unclear whether or not he realized that Light was being sarcastic.

After setting the empty milk jug at Light's feet, it was back on the road. L took the car out of the residental neighborhoods and took an exit back on to the highways. The desert began flying past their windows, Light leaning back into his seat and Misa pressing herself against the window lazily while L drove with his eyes wide open and focused on the road ahead. Light enjoyed an hour and a half of peace and quiet, slowly dozing off until he heard Misa speak up again.

"Ryuzaki, pull over, I have to go to the bathroom," Misa said absently, pushing herself away from the window for a moment.

"Yes, I anticipated this might happen," L said flatly.

"Ryuzaki, that's kind of a given that someone might need to use the bathroom," Misa said, starting to sound annoyed, "Now pull over, all right?"

"Light, would you be so kind as to hand Misa the milk jug?" L asked.

"What?!" Misa shrieked.

"We're trying to save time. I want to make it to Colorado by midnight. I calucated that we can reach the town of Fruita in eight to nine hours if we have only limited stops," L said flatly.

"No, Ryuzaki!" Misa shouted, "That's disgusting, I'm not going to the bathroom in a milk jug!"

"I fail to see what's wrong with it. In the end, it's leaving your body and you're just as relieved whether you did it in a milk jug or in a toilet," L said, not matching Misa's hostility in the least.

"Ryuzaki, pull over, you know she's not going to use the jug, just pull over," Light said, already exasperated.

"Yeah, Ryuzaki!" Misa continued, "There's no way I'm going to use a milk jug! No way, no how! I don't care what you say, it's not normal! There's a lot wrong with it, it's gross! Don't you realize how sick it is?"

"No, I still fail to see why you're refusing to use it. We'll save time and gasoline by stopping only for food and emergencies," L continued dully, still watching the road as the desert flew by.

"I know why you're doing this, Ryuzaki!" Misa shrieked, "You're doing this because you enjoy watching women in the bathroom! Admit it you sick freak!"

"Misa, please, I have done no such thing, nor do I intend to. My eyes are on the road, not on you, and I trust Light will be civilized enough not to watch you do it," L said without a touch of anger, or any other emotion.

"Ryuzaki, I'm not peeing in a jug, and that's final!" Misa yelped.

"Misa, I'm not stopping, and that's final," was all L had to say after that.

"Ryuzaki! Why do you always have to be so gross?" Misa screeched.

"You would rather pee inside of the car?" L asked quizically.

Misa just fumed angrily, unable to throw anymore insults L's way out of pure frustration, unable to make a sound save for muffled curses.

"Light, hand Misa the jug, would you?" L said politely.

Misa took the jug, and with a shudder, did what she was supposed to do. Neither Light or L watched her, and she finally put the cap back on the jug and set it on the car's floor. After that, Misa just sulked.

"Ooh, Ryuzaki," she snarled, before pouting and going back to staring out of the car's back window.

It was another hour before Misa stopped sulking and went back to watching the road flow past her like the water of a river, and the three entered Utah, past the city of St. George. Light and later L had also needed to use the milk jug in that time, but shortly after L had finished using the milk jug, Misa looked around the car and frowned.

"Light, I'm bored," Misa said, an innocent statement that none the less had Light's eyes shoot wide open in unrestrained fear.

"Well, Misa, why don't you try to sleep?" Light said helpfully, his voice never betraying the creeping fear of a bored Misa he was feeling.

"Okay, I guess," Misa said as she tried leaning against the car's door and window for roughly five minutes before she was heard again; "Oh, Light, I just can't get comfortable."

"Try another position," Light said quickly.

Misa squirmed about the back seat, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, for about fifteen minutes, every second of which Light spent hoping with every shred of his being that she had fallen asleep.

"Liiight," Misa whimpered, "I just can't sleep."

"Try again, Misa," Light said to her.

"Oh, but I can't," Misa said, "Light, could you turn on the radio for me?"

"Okay, that won't be a problem," Light said as he reached for the car's radio dial, and flipped it on to bring it to life.

"Five thousand dollars fer yer trade in!" the radio crackled out, "Bring us anything, we'll give you five thousand dollars fer it! Bring us a stinkin' roadkill, we'll give you five thousand dollars fer yer trade in!"

"Ugh, commercials," Misa said with a groan, "Change the station, please?"

"All right," Light said as he reached for the dial again.

"You just heard ten hit songs in a row, now for some commercials," the radio said through some static.

"Damn it!" Misa said angrily as Light changed the channel again.

"Sticky's Bar and Grill, south western Utah's hottest party spot, where we open at five and don't stop partying 'til the crack of ten o'clock," the next station hissed out amid a good bit of static.

"Uh oh," Light whispered to himself as he quickly changed the station.

"Caller, you're on the air," a mostly static free station echoed through out the compact car.

"Whew, here we go Misa," Light said, sounding relieved.

"Hi, Gary, love your show! Now you would not believe what happened to me! I don't care if I am a pregnant midget, that strip joint had no right to deny me a job, and I'm takin' the bastards to court!"

"Yikes," Light said nervously as he scrambled to change the station again.

After that, Light finally found some music, an energetic country station.

"Light, I don't like this kind of music," Misa said after half a song.

Light changed the channel again, this time on to the local top 40 station.

"Light, isn't there anything else?" Misa asked, couching her request in a question.

"I don't know Misa," Light said as he changed the station again.

This continued until Light had gone through the entire radio dial and Misa remained bored. She went on about this for about fifteen minutes before L finally intervened.

"Light, there's a volume of Sherlock Holmes in my gym bag. Open it up and find the book, would you?" L asked out of nowhere.

"Ryuzaki, you're driving," Light said.

"This isn't for me, it's for Misa. Light, would you mind fetching the book and reading it to Misa? I calculate that there's a seventy nine percent chance that the sound of your voice will keep Misa quiet and myself entertained for at least a few hours," L said as he continued guiding the car down the highway.

"All right, Ryuzaki," Light said, uncertain that a book would hold Misa's attention any better than the radio had, but he none the less rummaged in L's bag until he found the book, "Ah, here we go. The Adventure of the Speckled Band."

"Hmm, this sounds kinda dull," Misa said after a moment of thought.

"Give it a chance, Misa," L said.

After that, Light started to read from the book, while L drove and Misa listened. Despite her misgivings, Misa listened with a contented expression on her, enthralled by the story and Light's voice all the way to Fruita. L was also happy, listening to some of his favorite stories, vaguely satisfied that he shared them with someone else. And Light was just thankful to get some peace, if not the quiet rest he had hoped for. Still, he didn't mind reading to Misa if it kept her quiet. Maybe the day hadn't been a complete waste, even if Light had been chased out of a casino and forced to pee in an empty milk jug.


	9. L's Road Trip Chapter 09

L made it to Fruita just before midnight, with Light and Misa practically passed out in the car. The three carried their possessions into their motel room and piled into bed in their usual arrangement; Light and Misa sharing one bed and L in the other one. Even L took the occasion to lay down for a little bit, but neither Light nor Misa saw him close his eyes before they finally fell asleep. Whether L actually sleep after Light and Misa went under was debatable, but he was wide awake when they woke up at eight in the morning, when the sounds of the TV tuned into public television, the alarm clock and the sound of L's dirty movie file simultaneously shook them out of slumber. Light shot straight up out of bed at the sudden noise, while Misa rose slowly, rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning, Light, Misa," L said as cheerfully as he had ever spoken to them.

"Ryuzaki, what did I tell you about playing those movies?" Light asked as he stretched a little in bed.

"We're in private, Light," L said as he shut down his movie, "I fail to see the problem."

"Ryuzaki, you're sick, you know that?" Misa said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.

"So you say," L said as he watched Cookie Monster put away a plate of sugary treats, eyeing the television as he rubbed his stomach, "But that aside, I think it's time for breakfast, wouldn't you?"

"Ryuzaki, we just woke up. Give us a few minutes, would you?" Light said as he lowered his feet to the floor but remained sitting in bed.

"Very well then. Freshen up first and then we'll go get some breakfast," L said after a moment of thought.

The three of them cleaned up, Light and L uncomfortably sharing a bathroom again, before they checked out of the motel, loaded up their bags into the trunk and then piled back into the car. It took them another forty minutes for L to find a diner, but once it was found, the three settled in for breakfast. L ordered a strange new form of pie that he had never heard of, looking over it curiously while Light ate his eggs.

"This is unusual," L said looking over a slice of pecan pie the way one might evaluate a curious lab specimen, "Nuts in pie. I wonder what it tastes like."

"Well there's really only one way to find out," Light said as he took another bite of his eggs.

"Yes, I suppose there is," L said before taking a bite of the pie, his eyes widening just a tiny bit as he chewed, "This, is, delicious!"

"Yeah, this place is pretty good," Light said casually, "My eggs are pretty good too. They have a spice that gives it a pleasant aftertaste."

After polishing off their breakfasts, the three piled back into the car and started heading down Interstate 70 towards Denver. The first hour went by fairly peacefully. Misa was talking quietly, L was driving calmly and Light had eased into his seat, pushed the seat back and slowly began to doze off. Then he realized that he had to use the bathroom. Badly.

"Ryuzaki, find a rest stop, I need to use the bathroom," Light said.

"Misa, hand Light the milk jug, would you?" L said, not taking his eyes off the road for a second.

"No, not like that. I need to do something else," Light said.

"Hold it for a few more miles," L said, still not looking at Light.

"Ryuzaki, I don't think you understand, I gotta go right now," Light said desperately.

L turned to Light for an instant with a dull expression wearing only the slightest bit of disbelief on his features.

"Very well, Light," L said, "There's a rest stop coming up, we'll stop there."

"Thank you," Light said with a groan from the storm turning his stomach.

L turned the car down to the rest stop and stopped the car in a truck stop parking lot.

"Finally," Light said as he scrambled out of the car, dragging a staggering L behind him for a change, with Misa following at their heels.

Light scrambled towards the bathrooms, L and Misa struggling to keep up. Light almost ran into the bathroom, leaving Misa outside the bathrooms with a worried look on her face.

"Misa, stay out of trouble!" L said quickly as he was pulled into the bathrooms.

Light had to check a few bathroom stalls before he finally found an unoccupied and scrambled inside. He tried to lock the door, but the handcuff chain kept him from locking the door just long enough for L to barge into the stall and stare at Light.

"Ryuzaki, you're, the hell with it, I gotta go!" Light said desperately as he lowered his pants and sat down to use the toilet.

It took Light a while to finish using the bathrooms, sighing heavily when he was done. It was a long, loud affair and even L shuddered at the wet sounds being made.

"That feels so great," Light said, sounding tired.

"Are we done here, Light?" L asked, "I don't like the idea of leaving Misa unattended for too long. There's no telling what kind of trouble she could have gotten into by now."

"Yeah, all right, just let me clean up first," Light said, not wanting to leave Misa alone for too long either, especially after the incident with the biker.

Light cleaned up and followed L outside the bathrooms to find Misa waiting anxiously by the bathroom.

"Oh, Light, are you all right?" she asked once she saw the object of her affection.

"Yeah, Misa, I'm fine," Light said, only half telling the truth.

"Are you sure? Is anything at all wrong?" Misa said as she latched herself to Light possessively.

"Yes, Misa, everything's fine," Light repeated, rubbing his guts a little.

"That's good, Light. Now let's get back on the road, I'd like to reach Denver by this afternoon so we have one night in the city," L said as he started dragging the chain behind him as he wound his way back to the car.

It took a few minutes of driving before Misa settled down and accepted that all that was wrong was that Light just had to use the bathroom. Things were quiet for a short time, until a half hour later, when Light shuddered and turned to L again.

"Ryuzaki, I need to, use the bathroom," Light said reluctantly, "Again."

"I don't suppose you can use the milk jug for this one, could you?" L said icily.

"I'm afraid not," Light said, surprised that L was so eager to stay on the road.

"Oh very well," L said, "But the next rest stop is a long way away. I'm afraid you'll just have to hold it until then."

"Oh, great," Light muttered to himself as he laid back in his seat and began the torturous process of waiting for the next rest stop.

And the wait was painful. Light struggled to keep it in him, crossing his legs as he laid in his seat. All the while, using his bare force of will to keep from going right there in the car. He groans aroused Misa's concern, causing her to pester him incessantly about the state of his health. He tried to keep her from worrying, struggling to set her fears to rest, but every time he groaned, he stirred up Misa's worries all over again. It made it hard to concentrate on the task at hand, but ultimately, Light did hold it until the next rest stop. Once the car stopped he practically ran out of the car, causing L to struggle to keep up with him as they both ran from the bathrooms. When they finally found an empty stall, Light quickly ushered L inside, having accepted the fact that he wouldn't get any privacy from L. Then, Light finally got to the toilet he had been seeking and did what he needed to do, sighing with relief once he was done.

"Ah," Light said with relief.

"Do you suppose it might have been the eggs, Light?" L said, still staring down at Light in the bathroom stall.

"I guess that would explain how I got sick," Light said weakly.

"Well then, back on the road," L said casually.

"Are you crazy, Ryuzaki?" Light yelped, "I'm sick, I'm not going too far from a toilet until this out of my system!"

"You don't have a choice in this matter, Light," L said as he opened the stall's door, "Now wash your hands and let's get back on the road."

"Ryuzaki, am I being punished for something?" Light asked as he washed his hands.

"Now where on earth would you get an idea like that, Light?" L asked as he started leading Light out of the bathroom.

The rest of the trip continued pretty much the same, with Light needing to use the bathroom every fifteen to forty minutes until he was emptied out and feeling absolutely terrible. By the time L reached Denver, Light was seriously considering confessing to being Kira just to get out of going through the rest of this trip. But Light wasn't Kira, and L would surely figure it out and probably punish Light further for trying to escape from L and Misa. Instead, Light opted to hold his stomach all the way to Denver. After what seemed like an eternity of feeling his stomach betray him, Light and his companions entered the Mile High City. L stopped the car in a motel parking lot and checked in, but once their bags were moved out of the car, L turned to the others, Misa sitting on the bed and Light curled up on the bed, clutching his stomach.

"Well, we've got the entire afternoon in Denver. I don't suppose anyone has any idea of what they want to do?" L asked.

"Ryuzaki, I feel awful, I don't really feel like doing anything," Light said.

"Well if Light doesn't want to do anything, I don't want to do anything," Misa said firmly.

"Very well. Since you two don't have any ideas, we'll visit a music store, get some CDs for the trip to Chicago," L said as he turned towards the door, giving the handcuffs a quick tug.

"Come on, Ryuzaki, please, just let my stomach settle down," Light said as he started being pulled out of the room.

"Ryuzaki!" Misa said, "Light's sick!"

"It's just a case of diarrhea. He can walk it off if he tries. Besides, a book might help him take his mind off his sickness," L said as he rooted around for the car's keys as the three of them started exiting the room, L going first, followed by a reluctant Light and a worried Misa.

"You're not going to give any ground on this, are you, Ryuzaki?" Light asked icily.

"I fail to see why I should," was the sum of L's response as they headed for the car.


	10. L's Road Trip Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the character's in this story.

L's Road Trip: Chapter 10

The music store trip went without any major or even minor disasters. L gathered up a few CDs; two mystery books on CD, two pop rock discs and, for reasons known only to L, a small collection of Elvis Presley's greatest hits. The first four CDs were chosen based on a consensus, but L was the only one who wanted the Elvis collection. Misa spent most of the trip listening to headphones placed through the store where a customer could sample music before buying it, dancing a little if she spent too much time listening to the same music. Still, she didn't get into any major trouble, much to Light's relief. By the time they went back to their motel room after a quick dinner, Light had come to the conclusion that perhaps this trip wouldn't end in his slow, painful death at the hands of either Misa's impulsiveness or L's weirdness. Sleep took a while, as Misa wanted to talk to Light as they shared a bed, but it finally did come despite the pains in Light's stomach. Light slept it off, until the alarm clock screamed to life and after fifteen minutes of tossing and turning, trying to deny the chirping grind of the alarm clock, Light finally opened his eyes to see L, again perched in front of his laptop while watching the room's TV.

"Good morning, Light," L said as he turned his head a bit to face Light.

"Light?" Misa asked groggily as she came to following the screech of the alarm clock, "Is it time to wake up already?"

"That's a good question, Ryuzaki," Light said, "Is it really time to get up now?"

"I want to be back on the road in a half hour, so yes, it is time to wake up," L said, watching his fellow travelers with his owl like eyes and stance, "I'm planning to get to Omaha by the end of the day."

"All right, Ryuzaki," Misa said as she rubbed her eyes and made her way into the bathroom, "Let me brush my teeth and then you and Light can have the bathroom."

"Thank you, Misa," L said as he went back to his computer and Light just flopped back down into the bed, pressing a pillow over his head.

Once they were ready to go, L checked them out of the motel, crammed the three of them into the dull green compact and then fired up the engine, starting down Interstate 76 out of Colorado. Misa managed to get back to sleep, and Light took the chance to lay back in his seat and truly relax despite the shackled on his wrist. L didn't make any noise as he drove in his hunched over position. Misa woke up again twenty miles past Fort Morgan, Colorado. She yawned and then wrapped her arms around Light's seat, reaching his shoulders.

"Oh, Liiight," she said softly.

"Yes, Misa?" Light said, only vaguely aware that perhaps he should be worried.

"Put a CD into the player, please?" Misa asked, purposely batting her eyes even though Light couldn't see her face.

"Sure thing, Misa," Light said as he put one of the pop rock discs into the car's radio.

for the first ten minutes, L didn't seem to notice the music, though Misa was already bobbing her head to it as Light went back to relaxing. Part of Light could sense that things were going too well, but Light pushed those thoughts out of his mind.

"This is unusual music," L commented as he drove down the highway.

"Ryuzaki, this group has hits all over Japan, America and Europe, how could you not have heard this music before?" Misa asked curiously.

"I suppose I don't listen to enough music," L responded after a moment of reflection.

"Yeah, you probably don't," Misa said caustically, "It's probably because you're so weird."

"I agree completely," L said, "But on an unrelated topic, is anyone hungry for breakfast yet?"

"I could go for a meal," Light said absently.

"I've been hungry," Misa whined.

"Then it's settled. We'll turn off on the next exit offering food and see what we can find," L said.

It took another fourty minutes, but they finally found an exit offering a variety of places to eat. L took the exit and coasted down the road a bit slower than usual, looking for a place to eat. Unfortunately, while he was searching for food, a rather large deer was doing the same and darted out into the road. The paths of machine and deer crossed, and with a scream from Misa and a violent twitch from, the dull green compact crashed into the animal, banging up front of the car and sending the deer flying down the road a few feet. L frantically hit the brakes once he saw the deer, but too late, though he still stopped the car afterwards, and breathing heavily from the shock, he turned to face Light and Misa, who were already spooked by the crash.

"What the hell was that?" Light yelped once the car stopped.

"Ryuzaki, what'd you do?!" Misa demanded as she glared at L.

"I think I hit a deer," L said once he caught his breath, giving off no other signs of shock beyond breathing heavily.

"You think, you think?" Misa said, exasperated by the whole situation.

"Come on Light," L said, back to his usual dull tone again as he opened his door to start to exit the car, "Let's go confirm my theory."

Light followed L out of the compact, with L peering over the front of the car to survey the damage. It was pretty bad damage to the hood and front of the car, though luckily, the deer managed to miss the headlights.

"Yes," L said to himself, "I will definitely not be getting my security desposit back. The bullet holes could have been overlooked, but this won't."

"This is some pretty bad damage, Ryuzaki," Light observed, "What did you hit?"

"It's over there," L said as he motioned towards the fallen deer and started to drag Light towards it to get a closer look.

"Is it dead?" Light asked as he and L looked over the carcass.

Then, as if to answer Light's question, the buck's eyes shot open and jerked its antlered head up towards Light. Though Light and L managed to get out of the way, they realized that something was wrong just as the creature was shakily getting to its feet and glaring angrily at the two of them.

"No, it doesn't appear dead," L said as Light began backing away from the dazed animal.

Then, before either of the two geniuses could react, the deer snorted and reared up on its legs, flailing its front legs in Light's direction. Light yelped and soon he and L were running back to the car as quick as they could with the white tailed buck hot on their trail.

"Run, run, run!" Light yelled as he tugged on the shackles to keep L moving away from the deer.

L scrambled back to the car behind Light as they both dashed for the safety of the dull green compact. Once Light reached L's side of the car, he quickly struggled with the door, only to find that it was locked.

"Ryuzaki, what the hell?" Light yelled as he fought and lost against the door, "Why'd you lock the door?"

"Force of habit," L said frantically, "Try the back door!"

Light ran towards the back left door, only to be set upon by the deer, which reared up on its back legs and started thrashing Light with it's front legs. Light screamed as the deer began pummeling him, waving his arms wildly trying to push the beast away. He failed, and got knocked further away from the car by the angry deer, tumbling into a ditch. L soon followed right behind him, rolling down the hill right behind Light until the pale skinned detective crashed on top of Light. The deer, however, showed no signs of relenting, and began assualting both L and Light at the same time with its hooves.

"Ow!" L hissed as he started taking the brunt of the deer's wrath.

"What are we gonna do, Ryuzaki?!" Light screamed as he struggled to get up from under L.

"I don't know, I don't know!" L shouted back.

"Hey!" Misa yelled as she stormed out of the car, glaring at the deer with fury in her eyes, "Get away from Light you monster!"

"Misa?" Light said, stunned that she would exit the safety of the car.

The deer stopped attacking Light and L and turned its attentions towards Misa, who eeped once she realized what she had just done. The buck lowered his head and started charging towards Misa, antlers first. Misa screamed and rushed back into the car, barely getting in fast enough to avoid being gored by the deer. The deer's antlers smacked against the the car's door with a metallic thump, leaving a sizable dent in the vehicle's side. The deer flashed a savage glance at Misa through the glass, who quickly ducked down and crawled to the other side of the car as the deer made another charge. Light and L got to their feet and looked at each other.

"If we move quickly and silently, we can get to my side of the car and drive out of here," Light whispered to L.

L nodded and started speedily creeping around the car with Light only a few steps behind him. They reached the car's back side when they realized they weren't stealthy enough and the buck turned its feral gaze to Light and L.

"Run!" L said frantically, as he started running at his full pace to the front passenger's side door while the deer started chasing the two handcuffed men with its horns primed in front of it.

As quick as they were moving, Light was still afraid that he and L wouldn't be fast enough to avoid being gored. In this instance though, Light was proven wrong as he shoved L through the side door before rushing into the car himself and slamming the door shut just moments before the deer's antlers slammed into the front side door.

"Drive, Ryuzaki, drive!" Light hollered at L.

"I can't find the keys," L said almost sheepishly as he patted down his pockets.

"What?!" Light snapped, "What do you mean you can't find the keys?! You put them in your pocket, how could you lose something in your pocket?!"

"I must have dropped them when the deer knocked me over," L said as he glared at Light.

"Oh great, just great!" Light said as he flopped back down into his seat, feeling the sting of multiple bruises from being beaten by the deer.

"I guess we'll just have to wait until the deer leaves to search for the keys," L said after a minute or so of tense silence.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you, Ryuzaki?" Light asked icily.

"Not really," L said as he laid back in his seat and waited for the enraged buck to stop slamming its horns against the car's sides, "I certainly had no control over the deer that's attacking us."

Eventually, the deer did leave, skittering back into the woods from whence it came, leaving the three travelers watching its back side flee the scene of the crime. L lead Light out to a few tentative steps back out of the car, all the while waiting for the deer to return as they began searching the ditch Light and L had fallen into while they were being mauled by the animal. L scanned the ground as thoroughly as he could while Light acted as a look out, watching and waiting for the deer to return to finish the job of beating them up. The monster didn't return though, and soon enough, L retrieved the car's keys from the grass. Once they found the keys, Light and L ran back to the car as fast as they could, firing up the engine just quick and then escaping the area of the attack, hopefully before the deer could attack again. Once they were back on the road, L sighed deeply.

"Well, I suppose I should apologize for taking you out of the car when I wasn't sure if that deer was dead or alive," L said after he sighed.

"You're damn right you should apologize!" Misa exclaimed before Light could say a word, "You almost got Light killed!"

"Ryuzaki, next time, just be more careful, okay?" Light said, twitching weakly from his bruises.

"Light!" Misa squealed, "He almost got us both mangled by an insane killer forest monster! I think that should get us more than an apology!"

"There's not much more you can get out of me for it," L said flatly, "Except possibly some breakfast."

"That'll be fine, Ryuzaki," Light said as he went back to resting his sore body.

"Hmmph," Misa said as she turned her nose up and crossed her arms in the back seat.

Eventually, they did find a place to eat, where L had a slice of cherry pie and Light avoided getting the eggs. Misa remained angry at L throughout the meal, refusing to speak to him unless she was reiterating that she wasn't speaking to him. Once they got back on the road, Misa remained silent for a long time until a short time after L finally crossed the Colorado/Nebraska border, after which she turned to Light and threw her arms around him from the back seat behind him.

"Light, are you feeling any better?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, Misa, I'm fine," Light said, still tired from his ordeal.

"Light, put some music on, would you?" L asked as Misa squeezed Light, "It's going to be a long ride to Omaha."


	11. L's Road Trip Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, let alone the characters in this story

L's Road Trip: Chapter 11

It was a very long ride east to Omaha, taking Light, L and Misa all the way across the state of Nebraska in a single day. L did all the driving in the now battered compact while Light tried and failed to sleep the day away and Misa listened to the car's stereo system and the CDs they had gotten in Denver. They stopped only for lunch and it was just before sunset by the time they reached Omaha. L finally found a motel with an empty room and started moving himself and his companions into it for the night. L and Light hauled Misa's suitcases into the room along with their own bags and simultaneously flopped down on their beds, L sounding particularly relieved. Then Misa started sniffing the air and looking upset about something.

"Light, do you smell that?" she asked haughtily.

"Smell what? Don't tell me we've got another corpse in our bed," Light moaned weakly from his laid back position on the bed.

"No, it's not another dead body," Misa said, "I think it's Ryuzaki."

"Really now," L said, sounding disinterested before going back to laying in his bed, "Sorry about that."

"Ryuzaki, when was the last time you bathed?" Misa asked, starting to sound upset, a tone Light had learned to dread since this trip had begun.

"Back in Japan," L said, sitting up to face Misa for a moment before just as quickly laying back down.

"You mean you haven't bathed since this trip began? Light, is this true?" Misa said, definitely starting to get upset.

"Well, yes, it's true. I just figured he had a reason for it," Light said sheepishly.

"Actually I don't," L mumbled out, "I just haven't felt like it."

"Ryuzaki, that's gross! Go take a shower, now!" Misa demanded, sounding less than authoritative despite her best efforts.

"I'd rather not," L said without even bothering to face Misa, even though she was clearly bothered by this.

"Ryuzaki, I said take a shower! Or at least wash under your arms, you're starting to smell like a trash can!" Misa squealed angrily.

"I'd really rather rest," L said as unmoved as ever, "I'll do it in the morning."

"You'll do it now, or else!" Misa said, "Light, back me up on this!"

"Misa, please calm down. Ryuzaki washes his hair in the sink but most nights he's just too tired from driving to do anything more. Cut him a break, okay?" Light said, trying to keep the peace, "I'll make him shower in the morning.

"Light!" Misa snapped, "Oooh, damn it, Ryuzaki," Misa growled before storming off to the the bathroom.

"She sounded as though this really bothered her," L said absently as he lounged on his bed, not even reaching for his laptop for the moment.

"Maybe you should have just showered to make her happy," Light replied, "Would that really have been such a hassle?"

"I don't really feel like it right now. As I said, I'll do it in the morning," L said, sitting up to take notice of something.

Light turned his head in that direction to see what L was seeing, and caught sight of Misa wielding a wet washcloth and bar of soap like one might carry weapons, slowly, carefully approaching L.

"Misa, this can't be a good idea," Light said with a shudder.

"Light, he stinks!" Misa said, "Now hold his arms out so I can get the body odor scent out."

"Misa, no, I don't want to fight Ryuzaki again," Light said.

"Light, he accused you of being Kira!" Misa said, trying to invoke Light's anger.

Light was silent for a moment as he considered what Misa had said and what L had done, but ultimately, he just shook his head.

"No, Misa, this is a bad idea, let him wash up in the morning," Light finally said.

"Well if you won't do anything about the stench, I will!" Misa said before forward towards L with her soap, causing L to release a grunt of surprise.

"Misa, what are you doing?" L asked nervously.

"Cleaning!" she said with a look of determination as she began trying to force L's arm up.

"Misa, stop this foolishness," L said, seeming unmoved by the entire thing.

"No!" Misa snapped as she slid her hands under L's shirt, still trying to force his arm up.

L began thrashing against Misa, trying desperately to throw her off of him, but the blonde girl was too hellbent to be stopped. L resisted every step of the way, then he rolled and crawled across the bed trying to get away from Misa as quickly as possible, putting all his muscle into in order to avoid being pinned by Misa. With L went the handcuff chain, and when L finally tumbled off the bed trying to avoid Misa, Light was tugged away from his bed, smacking his head against the bed's frame with a yowl of pain. Misa meanwhile kept coming at L, who had to resume trying to wrestle Misa off of him. Misa's hand caught L's armpit and started scrubbing it before L threw her off, leapt to his feet and began scrambling away from Misa. Light ran trying to keep up so he wouldn't get dragged by L. It wasn't easy, and when L went past the suitcases left on the floor, where Light's feet met the bags. Light struggled to stay on his feet, but in the end he tumbled to the ground and smacked in to the floor.

"Damn it, Ryuzaki, hold still!" Misa shrieked in frustration.

"All right, Misa," L said absently as he stopped to watch Light get back to his feet without offering to help him up, "If it means that much to you, I'll wash under my arms. Come on Light, we need to go to the bathroom."

"Thanks for helping me up," Light said sarcastically as he got to his feet and started retreating to the bathroom.

"But I didn't help you up," L said as he turned the faucet of the shower on.

"Ryuzaki, I was being, oh never mind," Light said bitterly.

After the excitement, L showered off to Misa's satisfaction and the three called it a night, though, again, it could be debated either way as to whether or not L actually got any sleep as he was awake when Light and Misa fell asleep and when they woke up. They were woken by the alarm clock, again apparently set by L to get them checked out of the motel and back on the road as quick as possible. L stopped at a roadside diner for breakfast, fed himself and his companions and then set out for Chicago down Interstate 80. Once they were back on the road, Light enjoyed a calm, peaceful ride up to Davenport, Iowa, shortly after Interstate 80 becomes Interstate 88. Light finally managed to sleep part of the away, since Misa was relatively sedate and L didn't get them in any trouble out on the road. Most of the way, though Light and Misa listened to the radio and the CDs. They had gone through the first audio book the day before and they listened to the second audio book between Omaha and Davenport. Shortly after Light woke up and L had taken them east of Davenport down Interstate 88, L found that he was being slowed down, having gotten stuck in the right lane behind a late model black Cadillac with a small old woman in a humble sun dress and hat behind the wheel.

"Ryuzaki," Misa whined, "Why are we going so slow?"

"Because there's a slow moving car in front of us," Ryuzaki explained patiently.

"Well pass them! We're going way under the speed limit," Misa continued.

"Yes, I suppose it is dangerous to be going so slow on the freeway," L said as he signaled for a left turn, shifting into another lane, passing by the black Cadillac and then shifting back to right.

This proved to be a mistake. As soon as L passed the black Cadillac, the woman behind the great metal beast began speeding up and ramming their bumper as L noticed in his rear view mirror that the woman was shaking her fist at their car.

"Ryuzaki, what the hell's going on?" Light yelled angrily.

"I think she's trying to kill us!" Misa shrieked.

"Why, what for?" Light yelped.

"I think because we passed her," L said dully.

L sped up trying to get away from her, hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. In response, the woman in the Cadillac matched L's speed, and shifted to the left before pressing her car against L's. For a nanosecond, L lost control of the car, sending it sliding towards the side of the road, while the old woman flipped her middle finger in L's direction. L quickly turned the wheel and increased his speed even more trying to escape the black Cadillac. L managed to get ahead of her, but it was all he could do to stay ahead of her in the right hand lane.

"What are we gonna do, this crazy old lady is gonna kill us!" Misa wailed.

"Ryuzaki, stay ahead of her and go the left hand lane!" Light barked.

"How is that gonna help? We have to get out of here!" Misa howled.

"Actually, I think I see what Light is planning," L said as he shifted to the left lane.

The Cadillac bumped against the back of the dull green compact again, but L simply shifted into the furthest most left lane as he pressed against the accelerator pedal as harshly as he could. Once he got some speed and passed by another uninvolved car, L shifted to the right to get in front of it, putting that car between them and the old woman's nightmare car. Soon L was weaving through traffic trying to avoid the woman, wagering their lives and health, taking dangerous chances trying to get away from the crazy old woman. But in the end, L did escape her, and finally slowed down once she was far enough away, shifting back to the far right lane.

"Wow, Light!" Misa squealed as she threw her arms around Light as soon as she felt the danger had passed, "That was amazing! It was so smart the way you escaped that old lunatic!"

"Yes, it was rather clever," L said, sounding unmoved, "Thank you for helping me there Light."

"Uh, you're welcome," Light said, surprised at L's compliment.

"Isn't he great?" Misa said happily.

"Ryuzaki, can we please end this trip early? I've read there's a huge airport in Chicago, we could catch a plane to Los Angeles or Seattle, and then take a plane back to Japan," Light said diplomatically, but his desperation was quite clear.

"No, I don't think we'll be doing that," L said flatly.


End file.
